Regarding my this post, which was somehow construed by some of my friends to be my airing my dirty laundry in public instead of being genuine advice to deadbeat mothers, all I have to say is that I have been at best mild and highly allusive.
During my research on the phenomenon of deadbeat mothers in general, I found this page of links for example, with the individual posts going into a fair amount of detail including adding names, phone numbers et cetera.
While this battle of the sexes thing is more my friend, The Silver Dragon's, during some of my research into the general area of what transforms a woman into a complete skunt when it comes to motherhood, I have found some interesting tidbits like the fact that in the US, men are far more reliable at paying child support than women.
Dirty laundry is one thing. But in an environment which presupposes that women are endowed with some inherent, unassailable parenting gene that men are incapable of possessing, it needs to be illustrated that the opposite is as often true . Quiet frustration when dealing with a deadbeat bitch is not a virtue, it is not a sign of manliness, nor of maturity - it is condemning yourself to pressure cooker stress, particular when every accommodating plea you've made for civility, reason and good faith is repeatedly met with spite, illogic and outright deception.
My logic is simple. You are not saddled with the greater financial burden of raising the child, you have a good job, you get any assistance from the child's father: you have no fucking reason not to make time to spend with your one child. None.
About Me
- Ruel Johnson
- Freelance journalist, editorial consultant and writer living and working in Georgetown, Guyana.
10 comments:
Good Sir, Google cache is a bitch. I just know one day you'll wish you had the foresight to love your son more than you hate your wife. But then hindsight is also a bitch. Maybe they're cousins.
I don't hate my wife. I am angry at her behaviour, particular since it affects my son. Like last night having to explain to him calmly that I can't get through to his mommy's phone but he can talk to her later.
Uh oh.....I'm not sure publicly shaming your wife is going to change her behaviour which is ultimately what you want, right?
And also I don't think it's actually helping you get over the anger you feel. In fact it might be making it worse...venting begets venting...
My suggestion, my brother, is to just try on your own to get some order and rhythm to your son's life. Kids need stability. Regular meals, a home, a TV for when they're bored. It does not mean he has to be with you all the time especially if he is picking up your vibes about his mother - and kids are really sharp on such things.
I think if you can get this stability and get some breathing space then you won't feel so strongly about her obvious dereliction of duties, and you can enjoy fatherhood more. Yes, it is about enjoying too!
Meditate a little, write a poem, listen to some soothing music, take a walk on the seawall. Find some inner peace. Like a cloud over the sun this too shall pass.
Hang in there buddy!
Oww someone give this man a hug! I guess you feel like an abandoned woman.
I'll tell you the same thing I'd tell a woman in this situation. Move on! Don't harp on it! Take care of your responsibilities, you can't force her to be or do anything. Many children have been raised by their father alone. Tell the child his mom needs some time alone and it has nothing to do with him.
And she probably does need time alone...word is you didn't exactly treat her like a queen... suck it up!
You really hit the nail on its head with those last two paragraphs. It helps in avoiding such anger, and trying to 'logically' reason how women can be so when you expect the unexpected from the get go.
They are emotional; and just how she got emotional and swung your direction, she can swing away the same way she came.
When you expect certain things, all the spite, bitching, emotion, lack of virtue; it turns into a little laugh when they do it with an exclamation at the end just to say, "women... typical"
Don't get me wrong, they are lovely people. The only problem is they always think they know, when that's not really the case. And even that falls short of the bigger problem.
They've always taught they know, whether it's the solution, leadership skills etc etc. Its just that they express their ignorance openly now.. thanks to feminism.
A friend introduced me to this and I find it to be a simple truth : Eccliastes Chapter 7, verse 26 onwards..
You have allowed your wife to loose respect for you somewhere along the line. If you get that respect back, it might solve your problems.
Ruel I find that writting and blogging helps me relieve anger. especially in very emotional situtations. So I totally get what you are doing here. All genuine writers would understand. It is your opportunity to vent. But the larger discusion here is: Are dead beat mothers a real issue in the society? I would like to see us discuss that.
You need to tell ur reader why your wife chooses to do the things she does. Tell them about th econstant verbal abuse she has to put up with from you whenther it's voice messages, text messages and the constant harrasment. Tell them that it hurts like hell that she does not follow you up. Tell then about th eparanoid idiot you are who spends most of his time harrasing the the mother of his child, in front of the child for that matter. Tell them the the thing syou call her in front of the child who by the way can repeat them for you. It's a pity when people act like their own shit don't stink. Home you have a nice life.
No cigar for guessing who posted that last comment. I will not even try...I have to pick my son up in an hour.
Ruel, Like a typical man, u will never try to understand the last Anon's inner feeling. Shyt about picking up ur son in an hr...well come back and respond later. but no you wouldnt. The fact buddy: both u, ur child and his mother is going through pain. Why? People (both you and her) refusing to understand each other.
So dont blog as de innocent on. Both u and her are guilty.
This sounds like a Dr. Phil show or a good storyline for a movie. Let's make it! But seriously, you both need a shrink. Move on chile, move on. All this hatred isn't good for your son
Post a Comment